Stories

I accessed the help of the project, along with my 16 year old son, following the sudden death of my husband. On first accessing the support group we were in a dark and lonely wilderness which appeared to be closing in on us and there was no way out.

However, with the Headlight’s support and guidance we slowly and gradually started to find our way out of that wilderness. They have literally been that headlight – guiding us out of the dark wilderness of grief.

My son found out about the Headlight Project and after gathering together my courage I contacted them. This was very difficult for me to do as I imagined everyone would think it has been such a long time from the event I was a lost cause to treat….and I just couldn’t get involved in a group session, it just wasn’t me.

The counsellor was very helpful and we arranged to meet on a one to one session. At the end of our meeting she mentioned that she felt EMDR may help me and explained the principles of the treatment and I agreed to try it. I then went home and searched for internet for information on EMDR but remained very sceptical. The therapist contacted me very quickly and we arranged to meet and start the treatment. She explained the process and what it involved and the effects it would have on me over the period of treatment. Still sceptical but willing to try anything to enable me move on I started EMDR. It was very simple, physically painless but mentally difficult reliving and talking through many upsetting memories but I persevered and after the first treatment the following days I began to feel a weight being lifted. The second treatment I felt so much better after all those years of enduring episodes of sadness I suddenly felt I could rationalise my thoughts and accept them without feeling guilt or immense grief. I required 2 session but was informed if I needed further sessions or just needed to talk I could get in contact with the therapist and counsellor anytime.

So from a sceptic I can now state that I have never felt so comfortable with myself. My one regret is that this charity was not available to me and my sons 13 years ago it might have saved a lot of sadness and anger. The counsellors were so professional and understanding I am so pleased I gathered my courage together to contact them…they have given back to me something I lost many years ago….peace. Thank You.

13 years after my husband took his own life I was still having moments of immense grief and sadness that were usually triggered by some memory or from carrying the guilt for the result my husbands action had on my sons, wives and now grandchildren.

I presumed this was normal for a wife who had lived many years with a husband suffering from mental illness and then suicide so I just accepted this and tried to live my life as normally as possible but always felt that I was living under a shadow.

It was not until my son mentioned he thought I would benefit from some counselling that I realise maybe how little I had recovered from the event.

The initial counselling helped to get me over the trauma but then it ended.

I would like to say a great big thank you for introducing me to the Headlight Project, without them I don’t think I would have got to where I am today after losing my son to suicide.

The team at the Headlight Project have taught me how to smile again when I literally thought I would never smile again and for that I will be eternally grateful to each one of them

It is difficult to describe the immense heartbreak and loss following the death of a loved one by suicide. It doesn’t ever go away, you just learn to live with it. This is something I experienced over 20 years ago when my mum took her own life.

I wish that there had been something like the Headlight Project around to help support me and my siblings in navigating the grieving process. I am so grateful that this charity has been able to support the family of my fellow cellist and friend who took her own life one year ago. Thank you!